Amber (one of our readers) made a comment on my post Top 5 Mistakes Men Make When Meeting Women and requested I write a post to help guys “get the hint” when women are not interested.

Every guy should realize a woman will show you signs if she is interested. No matter how solid you think your “game” is you, can’t win the heart of EVERY female (unless you think you are Arthur Kade) because every woman has their own ideal type of man. So, why waste your time with a woman who is not interested? If she gives you any of the signs below, it’s time to move on.

1. No Eye Contact Initially

Eye contact is EXTREMELY important in all aspects of courtship. I find it hard to understand how guys approach women without first getting eye contact. If she is not looking at you (or at least occasionally glancing over at you) she is NOT interested.

Approaching a girl that hasn’t made eye contact with you is like sneaking up on your buddy who is a Philly cop and grabbing his gun from his holster – sure you can do it, and you may even get away with it, but it highly unadvised.

So say you think you got eye contact and you approach her. If you approach her and she immediately looks away or is looking everywhere else (around the room) while you are talking, she is not interested in you.

2. Her Body Language Tells You Shes Not Interested

Guys here is a tip: Women don’t communicate 100% with their words. You need to check her body language.

How is she sitting or standing? If she is leaning away from you, turned away from you, not smiling or has her arms crossed she is not interested.

When the big screen pans on a the crowd at Sixers, Flyers, Wings games or concerts at the Wachovia Center its interesting to see which women like the guys they are with and which do not. The women who are not interested are usually turned away from the guy, on their cell phones, have their arms crossed or are talking to other people around her.

3. She’s Not Talking To You

Women love to talk when they are comfortable, so her silence is a clear indication she is not into you. Other bad signs include: When you ask her questions she does not respond, she gives one word answers, she nods or shakes her head to respond. These all indicate she does not want to learn more about you or share information about her that would let you get to know her (and are usually accompanied with no eye contact).

I was at a happy hour at Positano Coast when I saw a guy talking some poor girls ears off across the bar. I could tell she was not interested. She looked like she was an animal trapped in a cage trying to figure a way out to freedom.

4. She Doesn’t Ask You Personal Questions

Guys, you need to be extra careful with women in the entertainment/bar/restaurant industry. These women are being paid to smile, flirt, earn tips and just keep their job. If she is not asking you personal questions such as “do you have a girlfriend”, “what do you like to do in your spare time”, etc. she is not interested in you romantically and she is: Just being friendly, has a boyfriend, make tips or just doing her job.

For example: If you are able to get into Recess (One of the hottest and most exclusive clubs in Philly right now thanks to Ryan Dorsey) and you see one of the beautiful PhillyIn girls (Kate or Amber-Joi) dancing, chances are they will smile at you and may even dance,  or flirt with you when they are on the floor, but that does NOT mean they are into you at all. They are on the clock, doing their job which is to ”enhance the atmosphere” with their good looks and awesome personalities.

5. She Increases the Distance Between You and Her

Check the distance between you and her. If that space is increasing, its not a good sign. Seriously, if you don’t get the hint with this one, I don’t know what to tell you. After she turns her back to you, the next move is run away with her girlfriends. If you have reached this point you have missed all the other signs.

I remember being at Finnigan’s Wake a few years back and seeing this guy talking to this girl at the bar even after the girl turned her back to him. All of her girlfriends were making disgusted looking faces at each other and giving him weird looks. I could see her inching away from him, but he kept moving in. Her and her friends then collectively sprinted for the ladies room like they saw an enormous spider.

If you experience any of these “signs” while talking to a woman, don’t take it personally, its time to move “On To The Next One”.

A few weeks ago the PhillyIn Cast, along with friends, Margo Trovei and Jessica Scott all had a discussion about dating (See Justin’s posts There is No Such Thing as Good Dating Advice) and the ladies told me I need to help other men out. I responded “why should I help out my competition?” Well after seeing (and hearing from women) all the mistakes guys are making, and reading Justin’s post, I figured I may be able to help a few guys out.

1. Lack of Confidence

I was at Public House a few weeks ago with a group of friends for a joint birthday party. One guy mentioned how hot a girl was and I responded “did you make eye contact with her?” and he responded “yes” so I looked and could tell she was checking him out, so I said “why don’t you go talk to her” and responded “nah, maybe after a few beers”.

Women love a guy who is confident. Some guys lack the confidence to approach a woman, ask a woman to dance, ask for a woman’s phone number or set the location and time for a date on his own. (She wants you to take the initiative)

2. Not REALLY Listening To Her

I was at a Landmark Americana in West Chester one night and this guy I knew from college was talking to this girl for almost an hour. When he came back I asked him what’s up with that girl. He said she is really hot and she is so into me. I said cool man, is she from around here? He said “I don’t know”.

A major mistake guys make when talking to women is not REALLY listening to what she is saying. Try to be genuinely interested in what she has to say instead of just thinking of what you are going to say next. Try to remember things she says so you don’t look like an idiot asking about something she told you ten minutes ago.

3. Bragging Or Talking Too Much

I was at the MIXX night club a year ago and I remember walking by a guy who was talking to a female and I heard “…and I have a Porsche and a summer house…” and she was looking around the club like she could care less.

Bragging about yourself works well if you are after a golddigger, but if you want a classy woman try talking about what she is interested in. If she asks you about yourself, then tell her, but try not to ramble on.

4. Lying

When I was a teenager I used to work at a car dealership and one of my co-workers would take out the nicest car and drive around and tell girls it was his car, how he had some fancy job.

I never really understand why guys feel the need to lie about themselves. Women are quite exceptional at seeing though lies, if not right away, then after a few conversations. Lying to a female is like embezzling money, you may get away with it initially but eventually the FBI will find out and act like they don’t know until they have enough evidence on you and you will be done. It’s just not worth it, tell the truth or give her a funny response.

5. Not Asking For Her Phone Number

I was in Manasquan, NJ last year visiting a few friends and I was out at the Osprey and I was was my one buddy’s wing man as he talked to this girl for at least 15 minutes that night (who he later said was “smoking hot”) and I asked him if he got her number and he said “no… #$%!…I forgot”

I never understand why guys put in all time and effort to approach a woman, talk to her and they never ask for her phone number. What a waste. That’s like being in the superbowl on the goal line with 30 seconds left in the fourth quarter, after driving down the field, it’s 1st down, your down by 6, and you want to kick a field goal?

Ladies I would love to hear you comments to see if you agree or disagree…